Urg! I lost an entire new blog entry. It was so good, so funny and witty. It was superstar double diamond status. It would have been life changing - now poof it is gone forever. Maybe it is for the best.
I got several emails that I had to update my billing information for this blog. Those constant reminders of what a horrible blogger I am and of the $1,000 that was fraudulently taken out of my account that prompted my card getting cancelled and hence typepad not being able to bill me for the blog that I don't use anyway. I didn't want to loose my blog since I really want those early entries from when Margaret was born.
I came here yesterday and started going back and reading the things I have written and looking at the photos that I have posted. It became so blantantly obvious to me how much the past two years have worn me down and how I have lost that attitude that saved me after Margaret was born. I was so positive, accepting and constantly moving forward no matter what happened. And my number one rule was not to dwell, do not get angry and never waste time wondering why or regretting. All I have been doing for the past two years is breaking my number one rule.
I have been forced by my situation into the corner and into the fetal position and just basically ignoring my basic needs and just concentrating on my kids needs. I think I am done with that. I know I am done with that.
I am going to live by my number one rule and the motto of those cute kids from the Jersey Shore, I am going to 'do me'.
This song has been motivating me:
The first 7 tracks of that Pink CD are pretty much my life over the past 2 years. Now off to find the soundtrack for what comes next.